Goodnight Sweet Angel
by Krys Xanthina
Summary: The X-Men say goodnight to an Angel after Tragedy Strikes - Ch5 up, The effects of the seperation on those close. Ch1 revised.
1. Default Chapter

Dear Diary,   
Ah was talkin' to Ororo earlier, an she sahid it maht help me if Ah wrote how Ah'm feelin down.   
There aint no easy way ta put this, but Jean died yesterday. We were... just out, walkin on th' grounds... talkin'... An she stopped ta tie her shoelace or somethin... and Ah heard her scream, an looked back...   
Big, hairy and ugly was there, behind her... Holdin' her off th'floor. Ah wanted ta save her... Ah really did, but Ah couldn't move...   
Ah put mah hands over mah ears when she screamed again, but it didn't do any good... She screamed IN mah head... Ah can still hear it now...   
She was bleedin'... Ah remember that all right...   
Then he threw her inta th'wood, over th'fence, they way he'd came. Ah don't know how he got past auhr securitay, but The Professor said he'd fixed it.   
Ah know what he did ta her out there... and so do the rest of them... Jean prob'ly dint even know she was projectin' it... Ah know one thing for certain... if Ah get mah hands on him, he's gonna wish he was never born for what he did ta her...   
That's not just tha Logan in me talkin'... Its tha Marie too. What Sabretooth did ta Jean, no woman should have ta go through. An then he sat there an watched her die. Bleed ta death.   
He was gone by tha time we found her, and she'd been dead an ouhr...   
Logan dint want me ta see her. He dint want Scott to either, but we both had ta know.

We're burying her tomorrow... In th'gardens, where we can see her from out o' th' bedroom windahs.   
Ah miss her already... So much... It hurts inside, an nahw, Jean aint here ta help me get through this... She's more than the Woman the Logan in me loves... She's like mah best friend.   
It hurts Logan as well... Ah can see it in his eyes. He tries ta hide it, but he can't hide nothin' from me. Ah aint seen him cry yet, but Ah wouldn't be su'prised if he did tomorrahw. If we all did.   
Ah can tell how much it's hurtin' Scott.... he doesn't try ta show it... tries ta be strong... from the rest of us... but Ah can see he's fallin' apart. She was his world, an nahw, she's gone... All because o'some lil' girl who couldn't be khounted on when she was needed by ah friend.   
  
  
Ah'll neva forget ya Jeannie Jean.


	2. Scott's View She's Gone

I can't believe it. She's really gone.  
  
I've been expecting this day. ever since I caught Jean and Logan in our room. I don't know what they were doing, but they were getting a little too close for my comfort. Now this. I didn't expect her to leave me like this. suddenly alone. She's gone and the worlds turned cold. I can't get it into my head that the only way I'm going to see her smile at me again, is in my memories. I love her so much. If I could undo everything I've ever done wrong to bring her back, I would. If I could change places with her. If. such a little word. I hate it. IF ONLY. If only jean hadn't gone walking with Rogue. If only Rogue hadn't frozen. If only I had gotten there sooner.  
  
Logan tried to stop me from seeing her. when we found her. I couldn't. I HAD to see her. And now I wish I hadn't. I wish everyday that she was still here, with me. I pray this is all a dream, but I can't seem to wake up. I want her, and it hurts so much.  
  
I was going to propose to her. next week. on her birthday. but now ill never get to put the ring on her finger and see her face light up when I do. And our future. It only exists up here now. In my head. Me, Jean and a couple of kids.  
  
Our room is exactly how it was when she left. I can't touch anything. I can't move anything. Everything here reminds me of her, but I can't get away from it, because that would kill me. I can't live with it because it feels like its tearing my heart in two.  
  
I don't want to remember as that broken woman on the floor of that abandoned warehouse. clothes torn to shreds, evidence of what Creed did to her all around. and the ragged slash marks across her chest. Of course. that wasn't what killed her. it was the one across her lovely throat. That's mortal. There's no way of fixing that, no matter how much you want it. Not even with Jeans powers. She tried to fight. to run. I can see that by the scratches on her arms and face. She'll always be an X-Man . And I'll never love anyway else like her. because she was MY one in a million.  
  
Scott Summers 


	3. The Funeral

Scott shuddered, sitting in his chair. They were going to bury her today. In a few minutes the church service would start. except that they weren't doing it in a church. They were having it in the great hall, at the school. It was what Jean would have preferred.  
  
Wiping the tears from his cheeks, he looked up as he felt the hand on his shoulder. "Scott, come. It it time." He nodded dumbly at Ororo, and stood, straightening his shirt. "Lets go before I change my mind." He whispered horsely. Of course, he had cried himself to sleep the night before. And the night before that. Ever since they had found her.  
  
Sitting in the front row, he watched the service in silence, lead by Professor Xavier, and Ororo taking over when it got too hard for him to speak. The Professor took over again, and lead the Prayer for Jean, written specially by Jubilee, and at the end of it, there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Scott glanced across at Logan, letting the words wash over him. Even Logan was crying, trying not to let anyone see of course, but Scott could. and so could Rogue, sat next to Scott with Remy on the other side, and then Logan. He was amazed that Jubilee, on the other side of Logan, couldn't.  
  
It was then that they were all given the chance to speak about Jean, especially since this was X-men only. Scott hadn't wanted the whole school there, and he rose to speak first.  
  
"Jean was my only girlfriend. one of the first people not to be afraid of me because I could accidently blow a hole in them. She helped me out." He tapped his glasses and continued. "She was always there when I needed her." He stopped, bl;inking back a tear, his voice starting to waver slightly. "And she always will be, but thanks to Sabretooth. Only in my head. and in here." He tapped his chest, above where his heart was. "Jean will live on. through the school and through the work of the X-Men. She wouldn't want us to give up. She loved this too much. If she was here today, she'd." His voice finally broke into soft sobs. "She'd say Scott. get down off that stage, stop talking. She'd tell me that she'd be with us in everything that we do, and to never forget her, so that's what I'll do."  
  
As Scott stepped down and re-took his place next to Rogue, Ororo stepped forward. "Jean Grey was a brilliant woman. She helped when she was needed, and she went above and beyond the call for duty for an X-man on many occasions." Her voice started to sieze up. "Jean," She continued, "Was a wonderful friend. We will all miss her dearly." She stepped back, allowing Logan to step up.  
  
"Jeannie." He started, pausing to breathe. "Jeannie was everythin' that 'Ro said an' more. She's helped me out more times than I can count, an' she didn't give up. Not once. That's what made her extra-special." He stepped back and took his seat again as Remy took the stage.  
  
"I di'n't know de lady well, but I knew 'er well 'nuf to like 'er, and everyt'ing she stood for. Truth, Equality, 'Ope, an' Faith. She was a valuable asset to de team, an' a pleasure t'be around." He re-took his seat, hugging Rogue briefly as she stood and went to speak.  
  
Scott watched her walk across the stage to the centre, then she froze. He was shocked as tears started rolling down her face and she started speaking, fairly quickly, and more to him than anything. "Ah know Ah did wrong. Ah let Jean be taken bhy that. thing. An Ah know its mah fault she aint here t'day. Ah don't care what any of ya say, Ah know that if Ah had been thinking, Ah woulda drained that monster till he was near-dead. Ah just froze. Scott, Ahm so sorry this had ta happen, an Ahm sorry Ah didn't even trhy." She stopped. "Ah want ya to know how much she meant ta me. She was like Mah best friend. She always made tyme ta talk with me an because of me, Shes gone. Ahm truly sorry for what Ah did Scott. Ah only hope ya can f'give me."  
  
She stepped down and walked back to her seat, between Remy and Scott. Remy took her gloved hand and patted it lightly, to show she'd be alright and that he'd be there if she needed. "Rogue, it wasn't your fault. If anyone I blame myself. I should have gotten to her quicker. Don't blame yourself kid. I don't hold anything against you. Jean wouldn't, so I wont." She nodded then, feeling slightly better, knowing that if Scott could forgive her, given time, everyone else could as well. Even Logan.  
  
Before it moved outside, Scott stepped upfront, looking in the casket at his best friend and lover. He bent down and gently kissed her lips. "I love you Jean." He whispered, reaching in his pocket and taking the ring out, sliding it onto her ring finger. He kissed her cold lips again before moving back to his seat.  
  
"I'll never forget ya Jeannie." That was Logan, said as he stopped briefly by the casket.  
  
"Take care on your journey. May the Goddess protect you wherever you are now." Ororo.  
  
"God bless dis Lady, an all who loved 'er. Sleep tight Princess." Remy, naturally. Rogue stepped up, hesitating again.  
  
"Ahm sorry Jean. Ahm so sorry." She started crying again and laid a yellow rose on Jeans chest before being lead off by Remy.  
  
The procession moved outside. The hole had already been dug, and the dirt left in a neat pile at the side of the grave. The headstone was already there.  
  
Jean Grey  
  
Beloved Girlfriend, Team-Mate  
  
Friend and Teacher.  
  
We love you Always.  
  
Sleep tight Princess  
  
The last bit had been a joint idea between Remy and Scott. It just, somehow, seemed fitting. As the casket was lowered to the ground, next to the hole, Scott stepped forward with the Professor, something clutched tightly to his chest. He put the neat pile ontop of the polished wooden surface and they all knew what it was by the X logo on the front. Jeans Uniform. Scott looked to them all. "She'll always be one of us. Its only right." Charles nodded and the casket was gently lowered into the ground. 


	4. Rogue, Post Funeral

Dear Diary, Scott's forgiven me, but Ah don't know why. Ah know it was all mah fault that Jean aint here no more. If Ah hadn'tah rozen up, ah coulda saved her. Ah know this. Scott knows this. Even Remy knows, but they're all too nice to say it. Ah let Jean die an for that Ah shouldn't be an X-Man. If it wasn't for th fact that Jean would tell me that Ah do, and that Ah should stay with them, Ah would leave. Ah would leave th' school an not look back. Ahm a danger. and Ah cant be khounted on. Ahm a liabilitae to th team, and Ah can kill with a kiss.  
  
Lets face it. Ahm doomed ta be ahlone. Even Remy's been distahnt ahround me. Ah don't blame him. Ahm gonna jus tell him ta stay ahway. That way, Ah cant hurt him.  
  
Marie Darkholme. 


	5. Clear Blue Eyes Scott and Rogues Reflec...

Telepathy/Psyches

It had been less than three weeks since Jean's death... twenty days in fact. To Scott Summers, it felt like an eternity. He thought it would get better over time... not hurt so much. Maybe he wouldn't cry every time he saw her... memorial. Of course, there was a collage of photos of the lot of them, Jean being the centrepiece, in the main gallery of the school.   
He couldn't bear to see any of them... the X-Men... He'd failed. He wasn't quick enough to save Jean... What if it happened again? To one of the smaller kids at the school.... Jubilation Lee... Or Kitty... Or worse, Jamie.  
What if he wasn't quick enough next time?   
  
The sun wasn't up yet as these thoughts ran through Scott's head, as he looped the rope over the branch, catching it and tying the ends together. 

"So what if I'm taking the coward's way out?" He had his shades on now, and wiped the lenses tentatively. He didn't feel he deserved to wear his uniform, so it was in a neat pile at the base of the tree with a note of apology to the professor, to Ororo, and to Rogue. He hoped she wouldn't blame herself for this as well. It wasn't her fault. It was his. He'd failed as a team leader, and he'd lost Jean as a consequence. He couldn't live with himself anymore. It was just too hard.

It was too hard to go on living without her, knowing he'd failed her. 

He wasn't taking the coward's way out. He was saving the rest of them from Jeans Fate. If he went, he couldn't fail them, and as there was no way he could live without Jean, this was his only option.

He climbed up to sit on the branch, looping the slip-knot around his neck. He looked towards the school, the sun starting to come up behind it.

"Goodbye all of you. Take care of each other…" And he jumped off the branch, his shades falling off his face as he lost consciousness, his last sight being of the school, the sun rising behind it, and he smiled slightly. There was no stinging in his eyes, or headache, and he knew what that meant. The X-Mansion stood, with all of its X-Men safe inside. All except the one He'd gotten killed, and the Judas himself.

~*~*~

Twelve hours later, everyone in the mansion knew what had happened. 

~*~*~

Rogue lay curled up on the coach with Remy, him just trying to comfort her, stop her crying, and stop her blaming herself. 

"Ah think Ah loved him at one point Remy. Ah really thought that Ah did. An nohw, Scott's gohne too.... An.. He's.... He realleh helped meh Remy, an he's gohne too....." She buried her face back in his shoulder and cried some more. 

Remy stroked her hair lovingly.

"'S alright Chere. 'S gonn' be alright.... Jean.... She gone t' Heaven, an she be watching out for us from dere, and she meet Scott when he die, and now dey both be watchin'. Dey wouldn't' wan' t' see y' like dis Chere. Not over acciden's." 

"Ahll mah fauhlt Remy, don' you dare try tell me other-wise else Ah'll drain yah an leave yah here." 

His only response was to hold her tighter, and promise he would never let her go.

~*~*~

Rogue had fallen asleep several hours earlier, and now he just watched her as he paced up and down the room.

"Lord know Remy don' like de man non, but Remy put up wi' it, for _Mon Coeur_ _(My Heart), an dis fellah go and do dis? He know Gambit like t' hurt him f'r doin' dis t' chere....?"  He sighed and shook his head as she shifted in her sleep. "Non, Gambit leave de fellah ahlone, for Chere." He smiled a little and took the seat next to the Goth, looking at the disarray of her make-up. "_Je t'aime Chere. (I love you Dear)_" _

~*~*~

It was all Rogue could see, clear blue eyes staring at her from the depths of her soul, her nightmares, her psyche. She knew instantly whose eyes there were.... Scott's. Jeans weren't quite so piercing, so sad. So haunting. She whispered an apology to them and they looked away, to look back a second later and, if they were attached to a head, it would have shaken no. 

A second pair of blue eyes joined them, these ones more accusing. These had been haunting her for longer. Jeans eyes, her voice accompying them. 

Why didn't you save me Rogue? We'd still be alive if it wasn't for you.... Why didn't you help me? You let me die.... You let Scott die.... What did we do to you to deserve this Rogue?  
LEAVE MEH AHLONE! Rogue cried back at them mentally. Ah didn't do it.... Ah didn't mean ta.... Ah.... Ah'm sorry, Ah didn't realise.... Ah.... A tear slid down her cheek. 'Jean' didn't take pity on her.

Oh look, We made Rogue cry.... Well at least YOU CAN.... Me and Scott cant.... Ever.... I hope you're happy Rogue.....

Rogue couldn't stop the tears and let them freely roll down her cheeks. 

Remy glanced at Rogue's sleeping figure, feeling that something was wrong, but unable to pinpoint it.

"Chere?" he whispered, brushing her short hair back from her face, and that's when he saw the first of the tears fall. He pulled her closer to him, careful not to touch her skin. Rogue had gained SOME control over the past few weeks, but it was still highly dangerous to touch her while she was asleep, or if you snuck up on her. "Chere, wake up.... jus' a bad dream.... Rogue?"

Rogue blinked a few times, then opened her eyes, feeling her cheeks damp with tears, and she inwardly swore. She didn't realise she'd been crying.

"Did Ah wake yah swamp rat?" She whispered quietly.

"Remy wa'n't sleepin' Chere. Worried 'bout y'. Y' had dat dream 'gain?" She nodded, curling up more against his chest. "Remy pr'tect y' Chere."

Rogue smiled, knowing that he couldn't. but his insistence making her feel better anyway. 

"Je t'aime Chere." He whispered, close to her ear.

"Love yah too Cajun." 


End file.
